


Why?

by withinmelove



Category: Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern: No Powers, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Human Wade Wilson, Hurt Peter Parker, M/M, Protective Steve Rogers, Sexual Assault, Tony Stark Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-21
Updated: 2018-07-21
Packaged: 2019-05-28 19:58:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 19,436
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15056654
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/withinmelove/pseuds/withinmelove
Summary: Peter attends a self-defense classes (taught by Wade) after he's assaulted. He almost quits because it's too much (doing the exercises reminds him of what happened), but Wade takes a special interest in helping him one on one.





	Why?

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to my beta Matt for the help! Thank you Ness for being my supporter and chatting with us in Slack.  
> Beta's ao3: All_Terrain_Nerd & tumblr: avocadolow  
> Supporter and 2nd Beta's ao3: CommonWhiteDude & tumblr: common-white-dude  
> This story wouldn't look or read as half as good without their efforts!  
>    
>  **There is an explicit sexual assault scene. Read at your own risk. I've given my warning, rated this fic as explicit because of the scene and tagged appropriately.**
> 
> Constructive critiques are graciously welcomed here. Any advice on improvement would be great to receive.

Tonight’s the night Peter’s going to sleepover with his possible boyfriend Jacob. (Possible because he’s not had the courage to ask but tonight that changes). He’s psyched over the plan of a casual evening of just lazing around at Jacob’s parents’ house watching movies and taking breaks to play video games. Giddiness sparks through his veins as he showers and brushes his teeth. It’s been a year since he met Jacob during his junior year when Liz had introduced them. 

No lie, he had been bowled over by Jacob’s attractiveness. He was just over six foot and slender with golden blonde hair. What had sealed Peter’s crush was his easy humor and warm, inclusive aura. Everyone was a friend to him even if they’d just met. It was so natural for Jacob to slot into Peter’s life. Ned and MJ liked him too, and that meant the world. No way would Peter risk upsetting the perfect balance those two brought to his life. He confessed his crush to Ned on day three and Ned had been the cheerleader for him and Jacob to be a couple since then.

And now, for the first time after a year of shyly showing interest, back and forth flirting, soft smiles; and silly loud laughter, they’re spending the night together alone. Peter was always too nervous, so Ned or MJ, sometimes both, would be invited so it wasn’t just him and Jacob. Granted, his nerves didn’t stop him from being physically affectionate, especially not after being bear hugged by Jacob every time they saw each other. Jacob’s hugs leave Peter breathless and blushing. They’ve kissed a handful of times, given and taken quickly whenever they’re alone for a moment. Jacob had offered once to do more, but Peter had very gently turned him down.

“It’s not that I don’t want to, it’s—it’s just I’m not ready. I promise it’s not anything to do with you.” Peter had struggled to explain himself. Jacob simply smiled and nodded, kissing him gently.

“Of course. No problem, Peter,” he had replied with a shrug like it was no big deal and he was just happy to have this with him. Peter’s heart melted and okay he’s more than a little in love with this tall goof. 

They settle in Jacob’s bedroom with pizza straight from the oven as soon as Peter walks in, dropping his backpack by the bed. Thankfully, they’ve got the run of the house for a good couple of hours before his parents return home from their own evening out. Not like their plans include anything wild or illegal, but the quiet alone time is nice.

Peter curls into Jacob’s side, content and pleased when Jacob wraps an arm around his shoulders while still managing to eat pizza with his free hand. A true talent. The movie is one they’ve both seen before so Peter doesn’t feel bad for chatting through it. It’s nice to catch up with his crush and maybe—after tonight—official boyfriend. He’s finally going to get the balls to ask rather than just dance around the question.

By the time the movie’s done and they’ve switched to TV, they’re laying down, Jacob underneath with Peter sprawled on top of him. A sigh as he nuzzles Jacob’s chest, his toes curling when Jacob strokes his back. God, it feels so good, so right to be here. Peter should have asked to spend the night alone earlier. 

“Hey, Jacob?”

Jacob’s hand rests on the back of his head, short fingernails scratching his scalp.

“Yeah?” Jacob answers, his voice a low murmur in his chest from where Peter’s ear is pressed. Peter smiles, butterflies tickling the inside of his ribs. 

“I’ve liked you since we first met, and I was wondering if—y’know—you feel the same way? If you’d want to be my boyfriend?” he asks, looking up to find Jacob watching him with a grin. 

“Of course! I thought you were never going to ask.” Peter sits up at that, now straddling him, face flushed. 

“You were just letting me look stupid,” he says, only mildly indignant, leaning over him, hands on Jacob’s chest. Totally not a move to feel his new boyfriend up.

“No! I just wanted to see how long you’d wait to ask,” Jacob teases, his hands settling on Peter’s thighs. Arousal tingles up his spine. God, he’s so glad he asked after all this time. 

“Yeah, right, you’re just a tease,” Peter murmurs as he leans in for a kiss that Jacob happily gives. The best sleepover ever. They spend quite a bit of time making out, eventually subsiding back into cuddling and watching TV. 

The evening slips into the night and they only stop snuggling to play video games for a bit. Rocket League has them trying to keep their grunts and swearing quiet as they both try to maneuver the in-game ball from each other. Peter has plenty of experience, seeing as he and Ned play this when he sleeps over at Ned’s apartment, so he really doesn’t feel bad beating Jacob so badly at Rocket League, playfully demanding he get a kiss every time he scores a goal. Jacob’s happy to oblige even with his laughing curses when Peter or his computer partner steal the ball away. 

By the time they wind down for bed, it’s three am though they’re still full of giggles, slightly punch drunk from tiredness. Of course they’d taken a break to make out again because fuck he loves kissing Jacob. At one point, Jacob offers to get him off but he politely declines, happy to do nothing more than this. Finally, even they find their limits of wakefulness and mutually agree it’s time for bed.

Peter heads to the bathroom to brush his teeth and pee before coming back to find Jacob already under the covers, shirtless. Peter swallows, mouth a little dry, the butterflies back with even greater force as he gets into bed. 

“Gonna sleep all the way over there?” Jacob jokes, a smile in his voice as he reaches over and pulls him close. Peter hums and nuzzles his shoulder. Such a cozy safety in his boyfriend’s arms. He falls asleep after a while once they adjust to each other and get comfortable. 

It must only be a few hours later that Peter is awoken, groggy and blurry eyed. He blinks, brain fuzzy as Jacob shifts up against him from behind, his arm wrapped around Peter’s waist. Peter doesn’t think much of it, but after a few seconds it pings that Jacob’s stiff and rubbing up against his ass. Whatever, he’ll go back to sleep soon enough. Peter closes his eyes trying to ignore the way he himself is turned on by the rutting motion. Sure, it feels good, but he’s not interested in more right now, no matter the fantasies. 

He gets no further then that thought before Jacob’s snaking a hand under his shirt, fingertips raising goosebumps as they glide over his stomach and up to his chest. Okay, he’s much more awake now unsure of what exactly to do. While this touching is okay, Peter really doesn’t want to go any further then kissing. This is still so new between them. Slowly, Jacob’s hand drifts downward slipping beneath the waistband of his PJ bottoms. Shock and humiliation fight for dominance, Peter blinking in disbelief as Jacob strokes him.

 _What the fuck?_ Peter squirms grabbing a hold of Jacob’s wrist to get him to stop. Rather than that being a deterrent, Jacob simply hooks his right leg over both of Peter’s, pressing up as close as possible. 

“It’s alright. Feels good, yeah?” he murmurs as he continues to jerk him off. Peter can’t find words to speak and more trying to twist away just has Jacob working to keep him firmly in place until he’s done. His traitorous body loves the feeling of Jacob pressing him into the bed, the warm weight of his body on top of him. He’s close to coming and it doesn’t take long before he does. Disgust and shock paralyze him as he lays there listening to the slick sounds of skin on skin from Jacob, who has moved off.

Peter curls up, unwilling to pull the comforter up, not wanting to make any unnecessary movements. Denial clogs up his brain so that it doesn’t quite soak in that—that his boyfriend just forced him to get off. That he didn’t listen to Peter about not wanting to do anything more then kissing. He doesn’t close his eyes the rest of the night, easing out of the bed as soon as he sees faint sunlight brushing against the window. 

Hoping to leave without notice, he carefully shoves his day time clothes in his backpack, but of course Jacob wakes up when he’s sliding it on. He doesn’t smile and Jacob doesn’t speak, just gets up, holding his arms open for a hug. He really doesn’t know what compels him, but he hugs him even as the panic begins to rise in his chest. Escorted to the front door, all Peter does is wave goodbye before he’s outside and speed walking his way out of the neighborhood. Really, it’s too far to walk home but he can’t bring himself to sit still in a bus right now. 

A cold sweat breaks out over his skin. The thought of Jacob’s hands on him, the weight of his body makes him sick. A shiver shakes through them. To think he _wanted_ Jacob to touch him in that way only hours before. What did he do to give Jacob the idea he wanted more? He had already turned him down. Wasn’t he clear enough? Never before this incident had Jacob sexually pressured him. Besides, he’d seemed perfectly content to move at Peter’s pace. It wasn’t that Peter was intentionally blue balling him, not at all! Of course, he also wanted to fool around just in a slower manner. 

It’s difficult to wrap his head around this. He’s trying to fit this forced incident with the man Peter thought Jacob was. The boyfriend he had hoped for. The friend he had known. Unbidden the tears sting his eyes 

If he should speak to MJ and Ned about what happened, will they believe him? His lips tremble as he struggles not to cry. These are his friends, but Jacob is their friend as well. This isn’t an easy matter of a breakup which might cause some unpleasantness but not harm their friendship.

Peter knows there’s a good chance that if Ned and MJ can bring themselves to believe him that they’ll demand he go to the police. Aunt May would drag him there two seconds after hearing he was assaulted no matter who the assailant was. Speaking to the police wouldn’t be too bad, but just the thought of how it would impact his and Jacob’s lives makes him queasy. The last thing he should be thinking about is Jacob’s comfort, but Peter knows in his heart of hearts that he won’t report. The prosecution begins and ends within his own head.

For now, it is all he can bring himself to do to keep his emotions contained. Peter knows he doesn’t have the strength at this moment to deal with contemplating any legal issues. He hunches into his hoodie as the chilly morning air sweeps over him, leaving him wishing that he had his coat instead of a panic attack brewing in his lungs. 

The shock is still too strong for him to process the idea of speaking about this. Not yet. For now, he’s just gonna focus on getting home and crawling into bed for a couple hours. He’ll just pick up extra hours today at the Stark Tower. Helping out with whatever busy work they’ve always got will help him distract from what just happened. Peter will deal with it... later.

Right now, all he wants is to curl up in bed. Just lay under the blankets alone with his own thoughts. It takes him two hours to walk all the way back. By the time Peter reaches his apartment block, everything from his hips down to his feet are aching something horrible. He feels no guilt for lack of exercise when he takes the elevator up rather than usual route of the stairs. Sue him for not caring about walking ten thousand steps today. 

Quietly, he unlocks the front door, pausing a moment to hope that Aunt May isn't awake. It's only seven thirty, but it's rare for her to sleep in past seven since she gets up at six thirty to exercise. Pushing open the door, he walks in right as Aunt May is strolling out of her room freshly showered. Her face lights up when she sees him coming over to hug him. 

"Hey, morning, sweetheart! I thought you'd be at Jacob's until the afternoon. How'd it go?" she asks as she ruffles his hair. Peter can barely bring himself to smile, tense as he is with her touch. Right now it's the last thing he wants. She must be able to tell because when she pulls back she's frowning, concerned, her hands resting on his elbows. Fuck, Aunt May knows something is off. 

"You okay, Peter? Anything happen last night?" 

Forcing the smile even harder, he shakes his head as he steps out of her arms. 

"Nope, tired is all. Stayed up and his parents wanted him to go to early morning Mass with them, so I had to leave." Aunt May nods slowly but clearly isn't buying the excuse. Damn, he shouldn't have been antsy with her hugging him. No doubt the biggest tip off. He starts walking backwards towards his room.

"Well, gonna nap for a bit and then head to Mr. Stark's." 

She blinks, surprised but worst is the suspicion that follows right after. She doesn’t entirely buy that Mr. Stark has asked him to come in on the weekend.

"Peter, it's the weekend. I didn't think Tony asked you to come in during that time. Are you sure you're okay?" His throat tightens at her sincerity and dearly wishes she'd leave him alone. He's getting close to tears and he can't— _he can't tell her that he was forcibly jerked off by his boyfriend_ because that sounds off in his own head. Jacob is—well, was—his boyfriend and he did want to be sexual, just not—not in that way. But it's all so confusing and he doesn't want to figure it out right now. 

"Yeah, Aunt May, of course. Just tired and besides, I'm not finished with a project for Pepper so I wanted to get it done before Monday." Still skeptical, Aunt May nods.

"Alright, well, let me know what you want for breakfast. I'll make it to go for you when you head out." Peter nods, turning away just as the tears start to well up. God, he can't handle this right now. He doesn't want any interaction with anyone.

\--

Peter cracks to Steve later in the morning. Well, not so much as cracks but more that the floodgates bursts open and once the tears start, he’s breaking down into stifled sobs. He really shouldn’t have come into work today, but Aunt May already noted his unusual behavior this morning, and he couldn’t bear the thought of discussing what happened with her. If anything _could _be said to have happened. Even now, twelve hours later, Peter can’t wrap his head around what went down.__

____

____

So here he is in Stark Towers on the thirteenth floor in his tidy little lab space. He’s an intern for Mr. Stark officially, but that just means he gets to talk and help the Avengers when they’re in. Mainly, he shows Bucky memes when he’s home from missions and talks with whoever wanders in to say hi to him. As much as Peter does enjoy learning about Mr. Stark’s company (a complete switch from weapons to renewable energy), he loves interacting with the regular employees, not just the high powered business people. 

Even Pepper comes to see him regularly. She’s rarely free since she’s the CEO of Stark Industries, but she always has a sweet smile for him and an affectionate greeting. Sometimes Pepper will even to stop to ask what he’s working on, or even better (greedy on his part) she’ll drop off a doughnut or a breakfast sandwich or three bagels with two different kinds of cream cheese at his desk. 

“Peter, I’d assume your desk was the new greeter station with how everyone stops to see if you’re in every morning,” Pepper jokes today when she stops by to give him a custard filled doughnut (its wax paper bag labels it as such). Peter dredges up the tiniest of smiles and thanks her for the food even though his stomach seems to have shrunken down to nothing. He’s not eaten since last night, glasses of water keeping his stomach from rebelling too much. He wishes with all his might she won’t stop to chat today, and his wish is granted but in the form of Steve Rogers. 

“Pepper! I just saw Tony and he’ll be in need of those. I think he’s finally crashing after two days,” Steve hails as he strides over. Peter concentrates hard on keeping his sandpaper eyelids open as an overwhelming urge to cry wells up in response to Steve’s voice. He’d rather throw up than cry in front of Pepper. Steve and her chit chat for a minute before she’s moving away, probably towards Tony and his imminent starvation. 

“Morning, Peter, how’re you?” Steve asks, resting a hand on the back of Peter’s neck because Steve Rogers actually tends to be a little handsy in polite, friendly ways like this. Today it’s just the nudge that starts the trickle of tears. Peter swallows hard, unable to raise his head not wanting to dislodge the warmth of Steve’s large hand or reveal that he can’t stop crying. Steve’s grasp tightens just a little at the lack of response. 

“Peter, hey, you okay?” Steve moves from behind his shoulder to his side, seeking Peter’s face. Startled concern widens Steve’s eyes at the sight of the tears. He kneels down to be on level with him. “Peter… what happened? Do you need me to call your aunt or do you want to talk with Tony? Maybe Pepper?” 

Peter shakes his head, the tears spilling down. When he tries to speak, to explain, only a gasp and sob come out before he’s reaching for Steve, who enfolds him in his arms without hesitation. Steve rubs his back as Peter struggles and fails to not sob on his shoulder. 

He manages to choke out. “I was sexually assaulted. Last night.” 

For now it is all he can bring himself to speak. Peter knows he doesn’t have the resiliency to give details or explain his feelings about what happened. 

“Peter...” Steve’s arms tighten around him. Peter’s grateful for the strength. There’s nothing left in him to carry himself. “You’re not at fault. You know that, right? And I believe you. Okay? I believe you.” He pulls back just enough to look him full in the face. Peter grits his teeth to not sob again at the relief that rushes through him hearing that. “What can I do to help?” 

Peter swallows hard, though he can’t seem to stop the tears, so he’s constantly wiping at his eyes. 

“Would… it be weird if I could spend the night? Not to be a bother, b-but just tonight?” Peter glances at Steve’s face, hoping against hope. “Aunt May doesn’t know, and don’t tell Mr. Stark!” 

Steve nods, gently squeezing Peter’s shoulders. He’s glad for the comforting touch. 

“Of course you can spend the night. You do have to let your aunt know where you are first, but me and Buck would love to have you over. Do you want to go home to get anything?” he asks. Peter shakes his head no. Right now in his current fragile state he’d probably start crying again as soon as Aunt May looked at him. He doesn’t want to deal with that right now. 

“Alright, that’s fine. Call or text your aunt and I’ll get the second bedroom made up. Good thing about living here is that Tony overdoes everything,” Steve teases. Peter gives a small huff of laughter. Very true, Tony does go overboard with the best of intentions. 

_Hey Aunt May I’m gonna spend the night at the Stark Towers. Mr. Stark is having a special overnight retreat for interns. There’s gonna be tons of food! Pepper will make sure I go to bed on time and go to school._ Peter texts, forcing the cheer on thick. He really hopes she doesn’t ask Tony about it. 

\-- 

Steve texts Bucky that Peter wants to spend the night and is that okay? It’s rhetorical seeing as he and Steve both love the kid. Bucky snorts softly as he replies back that he doesn’t mind, just order more food for the fridge. 

Curious though why he’s spending the night on a Sunday. Even with his lack of knowledge on the different school schedules, he knows that Peter has school on Monday. A frown creases Bucky’s face as he gets out of the living room recliner to start doing the dishes. Maybe this sleepover isn’t as spontaneous as he thought. Well, whatever the reason, Bucky can at least get the apartment tidied up. 

It becomes clear the instant Peter and Steve enter that, yeah, this idea wasn't just a spur of the moment thing. Peter's eyes and nose are pink from crying. Steve's expression is one of concern and no doubt he's struggling with not guiding Peter with a hand on the back. The big doof likes to be handsy, but realizes that's not what everyone wants when they're upset. 

>"Hey there, Peter. You want some pie? Steve went all old fashioned American last night and made some. It's pretty great," Bucky offers, not wanting to pry. Comfort food is usually the best remedy for negative feelings. Natasha had teased that without their metabolism, he would be roly-poly with the pastries he likes to indulge in. Which no, he wouldn't because he makes sure to eat his veggies, fruit, protein, and grains like a healthy person. Bucky just makes sure he always has room to have delicious sweets too. Nothing wrong with that. 

"Sure. Pie would be nice." Peter nods, a tremulous smile touching his lips. The expression doesn't touch his eyes. Bucky nods and busies himself getting a bowl for the apple pie and a separate one for the ice cream because it's not the same if you don't have both. Peter and Steve settle on the couch (okay, they're totally heathens, rarely eating at the actual dining table), Peter immediately pulling over the blanket that Steve left there earlier this morning and tucking himself in. Okay, whatever's going on has got to be pretty serious if the kid's already burrowing under a blanket and needing apple pie at ten in the morning. 

Dishing up some for all of them, Bucky settles against the arm of the couch, putting his feet under Steve's thigh. Now it's just a waiting game to be informed of what's going on. Peter sniffs as he pokes at his pie before he scoops some up and takes a bite. Head bowed over the bowl, tears start to leak down his face as he struggles to even finish the bite. Bucky nudges Steve with his toes legitimately worried at what's got him crying while eating. Steve's pie isn't that good to weep over. A nice, satisfying moan of delight, but not tears. Steve squeezes his ankle gently, not taking his eyes off Peter.

>"It's-it's really delicious," Peter mumbles after he finally manages the bite this time, digging in with a little more enthusiasm. Steve smiles, his pie and ice cream untouched. Bucky's finished his scoop of ice cream at this point. 

"I know Steve's trying to be nice, but what's happened, Peter? You usually don't get teary about food. Unless Pepper isn't telling us you cry over the doughnuts she brings in the morning," Bucky gently prods because, damn it, okay he's gonna pry. He needs a nudge and Bucky is good at starting uncomfortable conversations. 

Peter gives a wet snort as he wipes at his eyes with the blanket. 

"I… I was spending the night last night with my—well—was my boyfriend now and..." His lips tremble and he has to stop to collect himself. "He forced me to be sexual with him." 

For a moment things seem to freeze as Peter's words sinks in. What he just disclosed to Bucky. Why exactly Peter is spending the night here and not at home. 

"Jesus Christ. Peter, I will personally go punch this ex for you. With my metal hand. Repeatedly," Bucky blurts out because, by God, how does one appropriately respond to something like that? Peter shakes his head as he eats more pie. 

"I-I don't want you to hurt him. I just needed to tell someone. It's hard to believe myself. That… that he'd do something like that." He blinks hard, trying to hold back more tears. "I told him I didn't want to do anything more then kiss. Not that I didn't want to ever be intimate. Just not right then, is all," Peter murmurs, no longer quite with them. Steve rests a hand on Peter's knee, bringing him back. 

"Of course. You trusted him. He took that trust away forcing you. Is there anything Steve or I can do?" Bucky asks, sitting up, no longer relaxed, back against the couch. He isn't sure what he can do for Peter. Well, he could always hunt down this ex-boyfriend and impress upon him just how dearly he'll pay for hurting Peter. Hell, for ever hurting anyone in this way. 

Peter shakes his head, setting aside his half eaten pie and melted ice cream before wrapping up more securely in the blanket, his knees pulled up and into his chest. 

"No, what you guys are doing is enough. I just need some time. I haven't told Aunt May or my friends. We're all friends and I'm scared that they might side him," Peter murmurs into his blanket covered knees, getting lost in his own head again in thoughts he's not telling to him and Steve. 

"We do, Peter. We believe you. And if you want to report what happened, we'll be here for you no matter what. You know Tony would be too," Steve jumps in, unable to contain himself any longer. The mention of Tony has panic lighting in Peter's eyes. 

"I can't tell Mr. Stark! That's even worse. I don't want him knowing that this happened. Please tell me neither of you will tell him. Please," Peter begs. 

"Not at all. What you tell us stays right here," Bucky assures. Peter nods, releasing a shaky breath. For a few moments they sit there quietly. 

"Can we watch a movie?" he asks, breaking the silence that had descended. 

"Sure. Pick out whatever you want. Me and Buck will like anything you pick." <

A true smile comes to Peter's lips at that before he hops up the blanket still pulled around his shoulders and goes over to the DVD rack they've got. While he's browsing through what they should watch, Bucky gives Steve a wide eyed look of _what the fuck?_ Not about the bombshell that just got dropped on him but, seriously, Steve couldn't have given him a _little_ warning of what was just about to be dropped on them? 

They settle on _Howl’s Moving Castle_ (Steve must have been recommended to watch it at some point, no doubt) Peter nestled between them on the couch, asking with soft embarrassment if that was alright. There was no way either he or Steve were going to turn him down, and so there they three cozied down for a quiet evening. 

\--- 

The only unfortunate thing about living in Stark Tower is that there's no way Tony wouldn't be told by someone that Peter was spending the night with him and Bucky. He shows up right as Peter's getting ready for school. Steve had gotten up early to make breakfast (he would jog after Peter left) when the elevator ding signals that someone has arrived. It's Tony, who is carrying three canvas bags that are bulging. Steve frowns, because while he normally wouldn't mind Tony showing up, today isn't the greatest timing what with Peter's trauma. 

"Morning, Steve! I found out Peter spent the night and thought I'd get us all breakfast before he goes to school. Even found a lunch box for him to take the leftovers. Figure two supers can't eat through all this food in one sitting," Tony chatters as he sets the bags down on the kitchen counter. Before he can answer back, Tony notices Peter, who has come out from the bathroom and strolled into the kitchen, freezing when he sees him. 

"Hey there, kiddo. Heard you were here, thought I'd come say hi. Haven't talked with you in a while." Peter gives a strained smile, murmuring a greeting before he's trying to sidle by saying he's got to head out. Tony frowns at being ignored. He holds out his hand, halting Peter who is polite enough to stop, though he keeps his eyes down. 

What's going on? I know you don't have school for an hour at least. No lying, I know something is off. You haven't spent the night here before, why now?" Tony asks, determined to get to the bottom of this spontaneous sleepover. 

"Tony—," Steve starts to speak but Tony flaps his hand at him to be quiet. 

"No, I want to know what's going on. I have a right to know if something's wrong under my own roof. So spill, Peter," he orders, not playing around with gentleness anymore. Peter shifts his weight from foot to foot, still not meeting Tony's eyes. 

"I just needed to stay over, was all. Aunt May said it was fine," Peter mumbles, not wanting to divulge the real reason. Steve wants to step in, tell Tony to back off, but that wouldn't do anything except make him more suspicion and rightfully concerned about what's going on. 

"I'm glad you count the Tower as a safe place, but you're not telling me the whole truth, kid. What's wrong? Did something happen between you and May? Or you and a friend?" This has Peter tensing as he touches too close upon the reason. "Okay, so it's you and a friend. Are they gossiping about you? Or bullying you about anything?" Tony continues to needle. 

"Tony, leave him alone for God's sake! Peter just wanted to spend the night because he wasn't feeling good. Do you have to hound him?" 

"Well, I just want to help where I can, is all!" 

“I was assaulted two nights ago. I’m ashamed of it, okay? That’s why I spent the night. My boyfriend forced me and I didn’t want to face Aunt May afterwards.” Peter’s voice is quavering by the end. He uses Tony’s shock to run for the elevator, hitting the button to close the door behind him. 

Tony’s face has drained of color so fast Steve thinks he’s gonna faint. He rushes to his side, Tony grasping his hand hard between his own. 

“What—who—who did this to him?” Tony breathes, rage bubbling up beneath his words. Christ, Steve doesn’t want to do this. He knows this is difficult for Tony. He sees Peter as an adopted son and now to find out he’s been violated in such an intimate manner… Steve himself wanted to fly off the handle for this precious kid, but it’s not his place to seek retribution. 

“Likely someone he goes to school with, but he didn’t tell us a name.” 

Tony blinks, dropping Steve’s hand to rake his fingers through his hair, starting to pace around. Whatever’s clicking in his brain isn’t good. But then again neither were Steve’s thoughts when Peter told him. But Tony’s not known for impulse control and to be wounded so close to the heart might just set him off. 

“Tony, this isn’t about our feelings. This isn’t about you or me.” He’s using his stern Captain America voice and Tony knows it for he throws a disgusted look. 

“He hurt Peter! That bastard deserves to pay! Did Peter go to the police or the hospital? He hasn’t reported, has he?” Tony asks frantic of what to deal with first. 

“Tony—, 

“No, Cap!” 

“ _Stark_.” Bucky’s cold tone silences them both. They look over to see Bucky standing in the threshold that divides the living room from the hallway towards the bedrooms. He walks over to them placing himself next to Steve. 

“You could make Peter report but are you willing to force him to do more things he doesn’t want to?” Tony’s jaw has gone tight from gritting his teeth. He’s caught between getting Peter justice and the personal want to hurt this assailant in horribly bad ways. Instead Tony switches topics. 

“When did he tell you?” 

Steve breathes out a tiny bit. “He told me yesterday morning, hence why he spent the night and the assault happened day before.” Tony nods, kneading his thumb into the palm of his right hand, the one that trembles when he’s majorly stressed. 

\-- 

Peter’s making it through the day despite the fact Mr. Stark now knows about his assault. He didn’t mean to blurt it out, but he couldn’t handle the needling. Namely for the fact Mr. Stark would have hounded him until he knew what the issue was. 

What about kills him is that Jacob flat out _ignores_ him. Peter isn’t sure what he was expecting, but it wasn’t cold rejection. But really, would he have wanted Jacob to try and apologize or would it be worse if he acted as if they were still boyfriends? The thought crushes his heart. Fuck, they’d only been official for an evening not even a whole twenty-four hours. The silence makes Peter want to scream in Jacob’s face, hurt him just as much in return. 

“So what happened between you guys? One minute you’re all over each other and today you haven’t even looked at one another, spill,” MJ states as she and Ned sit down at the lunch table with them. Of course they’d notice something is off in a heartbeat. A cold sweat creeps over his back 

He shrugs, eyes down on his phone. The last thing he wants to do is cry in public. But then these are his closest friends. Who can he talk to without judgement if not them? 

“Okay… but you have to swear you’re not going to get mad.” Ned and MJ blink at him, puzzled as to why they’d possibly get mad. He took a deep breath in and out to steady his nerves. His palms are clammy as he scoots close to the table leaning in to quietly explain. 

“He forced me to be sexual with him.” Peter chokes out the worst part first. “We were in bed, we’d been kissing beforehand and he suggested doing more, but I said I didn’t want to. He seemed fine with it when I told him no. Didn’t get upset or anything. But… guess he didn’t like that after all,” Peter trails off with a shrug. He doesn’t want to repeat the details here with so many fellow students around. He forces himself to meet their eyes to see Ned horrified and MJ in a building rage. 

“Oh my god, Peter, when did this happen? Why didn’t you tell us right then?” Ned asks and, God, it makes him want to break down. MJ is right on his heels with her demands. 

“Have you told May or the school? They’ve _got_ to know,” she urges when Peter shakes his head no. It’s hard to breathe at the thought of telling the school counselor and very likely the principal too. Oh, Jesus, Jacob’s parents would, of course, be involved. No way would Aunt May not be informed. 

“I-I was scared. I didn’t want you guys to think less of me because of it. He was our friend—” 

“Yeah _was_ and I’m going to go make sure he never does this again to anyone else.” MJ swivels around on the bench seat and stands to go, but Peter lunges across the table latching onto her hoodie around her waist. 

“MJ! Please don’t!” Peter begs, getting startled looks from both his friends at this reaction. He lets go of her hoodie though he stays standing. “I’ll talk to the the principal tomorrow, okay? Just give me today to think about it.” 

\-- 

Wade can’t say he’s best friends with Sam Wilson. Sam takes himself a little too seriously for Wade’s taste. Well, not by regular people’s standards but by Wade’s. That’s okay. There’s few people who match his brand of weird. However, they do make a kickass team. Mainly because they both help survivors as best they can. 

They got in touch when Wade went scouting for students to be in his defense course. This was when he only offered the month long one. He needed to drum up interest and funds otherwise it was never going to get off the ground. What prompted his interest in survivors of rape and everything included in sexual violence was coming home from Special Forces. Wade could say he’d developed a refined taste of disgust for the rape culture that was rife in the military and civilian worlds. It was just way more in your face in the rigid hierarchy of the military. 

So into the community center where the veterans support group Wade had gone. Even sat in on the group and damn, if he was someone who took care of his mental health, he’d be here in a heartbeat. Sam approaches him once the meeting was over and the stragglers had said their final words, given Sam hugs, and departed. 

“I take it you’re not here for the therapy part of sharing?” Sam asks, settling in the chair beside him. Wade snorts as he relaxes back into his seat. There’s a frankness to Sam that is soothing. 

“No, I’m not, but you’re good at what you do. I’m here to say I’m arranging a defense course that also doubles as a support group. I need members and after my time in I want to reach out to those who served first.” Sam’s nodding along, gaze steady on his face. 

“Sure, I can advertise to my group. You got any flyers or a Facebook group they can find? Or is this just old fashioned word of mouth right now?” 

Wade sighs the tension easing from his shoulders. The hardest part is over. Sam seems convinced enough to at least offer the help. Three other veteran groups had already rejected him at this point. He reaches into his hoodie pocket and gives Sam a small stack of cards. He looks them over giving a startled _huh_ at the backside of them. 

“Is it really that smart to advertise a defense course on one side and a sex shop on the other?” Sam asks, eyebrows raised through he makes no move to hand back the stack. Well, maybe he’ll just dump them after Wade leaves. 

“Weasel, my boss, wouldn’t let me use his business card discount unless I did that. But that’s not the point. I’d still do that because I want these survivors to know that even though they’ve experienced trauma it doesn’t mean they’re blocked from enjoyment of sexy times, alone or together. They hear enough depressing shit like they’re way more at risk to be victimized again let alone knowing they’re not going to be believed in the first place. And don’t worry. Weasel may be an asshole but he and our employees know how to tread carefully.” When Wade comes up for breath, he finds Sam’s expression has changed to surprised but respectful. 

Wade shifts so he’s sitting on the edge of his seat. He’s so close to having his support. It’s not a usual thing for him to want to convince strangers, but his instinct is telling him Sam is very much worth having around. 

“Combine that with the military and the abuse of power, it’d be fucking cruel not to reach out to veterans. Men and women, gay, bi, straight, and in between. There aren’t just one size fits all for perpetrators or survivors.” Wade knows he’s gesturing way too much, but by Sam’s attention, it hasn’t detracted from his speech. 

“Sounds like you’re exactly the person survivors need. Want me to scout for instructors too? I’m sensing with your ambition you’ll want and need help running the classes. You’ll be offering different times and days if this pilot run gets off the ground, right?” The tone is an expectant one that Wade is pumped to hear. 

“Absolutely! Whoever would be interested and you think would be suited for talking with survivors. Someone who can be delicate or frank depending on the person.” 

Sam nods, biting his lip as he thinks. “I know a couple of people who’d jump at the chance to help with this.” 

It is through Sam Wilson that Wade becomes acquainted with Captain America and, from that, comes to know Peter Parker. 

\-- 

Tuesday goes as awfully as Peter knew it would. Right before first block, he heads to the school counselor’s office flanked by MJ and Ned. They’re for support as much to make sure he actually goes through with his promise. Nausea and dread fight in his stomach as they wait for the counselor to call him back 

Once it’s just him and the counselor Patrick, they chit chat only for a minute before Patrick gets to the point gently asking what brought him in. It’s stupid, but Peter isn’t ready for the swell of emotions that choke him. It takes him a few moments to collect himself and wipe his eyes. When he explains what happened between him and Jacob, it points to Patrick’s skill he doesn’t show shock or outrage, only gentle concern. 

“Jacob is a fellow student?” Peter nods, dabbing at his eyes with tissues from the table beside his chair. 

“This is a serious thing, Peter, and nothing to be ashamed of. You’re not at fault for what happened. You trusted Jacob, and he hurt you in this very intimate manner. We’ll need to talk to the principal about this, but I want you to know you can come speak to me as often as you need. After this session if you want to set up weekly sessions we can do that. I do want to ask if you’ve reported this?” 

He shakes his head, dreading being told he needs to. This is difficult and humiliating enough. 

Patrick nods, unbothered by his response. “If you ever want to, I’ll be an advocate, and I’ll be with you every step of the way.” 

An hour passes as they talk before Patrick calls the principal Ms. Leigh to arrange a meeting for Peter and May to discuss what’s to be done. This time when Peter retells what happened that night, his voice only trembles a bit, but he keeps his eyes steady on the principal’s, unable to face Aunt May. 

By the time they’re finished, Aunt May is in angry tears (thank God not towards him) and Ms. Leigh has set up a meeting with Jacob and his parents for tomorrow. She seems just as exhausted as Peter feels by this point. 

“Peter, honey, do you want to stay the rest of the day or come home?” Much as Peter dearly wants to take up Aunt May’s offer, he doesn’t want what Jacob did to shake up his life any further. He is not going to be chased from school and his friends. 

“I’m okay; I don’t want to miss school. I made an appointment with the counselor for next Monday,” he answers, hoping the latter soothes Aunt May a bit. He can already guess all the questions she’ll put to him when they get home. 

So with that, Aunt May hugs him tightly, reminding him they’ll talk tonight after he gets back from his internship. Ned and MJ are in their classes, so Peter heads to his own, glad that he and Jacob don’t share classes this year. And to think that’s what he desperately hoped for just this last summer. 

Despite Peter’s dread about Mr. Stark seeking him out at work, he does nothing of the sort. Instead, a folder is left on his desk. In it are printed out pages for various therapists around town specializing in trauma and sexual issues. Next are defense classes, survivor groups, suicide, depression, and anxiety hotlines along with messenger services. Finally in back there’s a piece of graph paper. 

_Hey Peter,_

_I realized I shouldn’t have gotten on your case like that. ~~I’m turning into my dad, Jesus Christ~~. I blew a gasket, and that wasn’t aimed at you. I circled the defense course Rogers told me about through his friend Sam. The instructor Wade has a great reputation working with survivors doesn’t matter who. His group is usually for veterans, but you’ll have Stark money behind you. That goes for the defense course, any therapist, and a lawyer if you want. _

_Come spend the night whenever you want. I promise I’ll be less of an ass this time._

At the bottom is a phone number behind the word personal phone.

Peter swallows down the swell of tenderness. How kind of Mr. Stark and a good indirect apology. He shuffles through the pages to find the circled defense class. It’s advertised as both a defense course and survivor group taught by Wade Wilson. The group runs one session only on the weekends in the evening but lasts all year. Another session is three months long during the week also evening time. Both are from six to nine pm. 

He’ll do it. Not much to lose and he knows those who he has disclosed to will want to see him making progress with his recovery. So Peter texts Mr. Stark to let him know he’ll be signing up for the year long session and that he can spend the night next weekend after the defense course finishes at nine. 

\-- 

When Peter gets home later that evening, his throat tightens to see Aunt May has ordered Chinese food. He gets it’s meant to be a gesture of comfort having his favorite stuff, and certainly it is, but he dislikes that the occasion is because he was sexually violated. 

Aunt May herself is reading on the couch although she comes over to hug him after he closes the front door. Peter sinks into her hug and the fruity smell of her hair products. 

“School went okay? Jacob didn’t try, anything did he?” she asks concerned already. He pulls back, shaking his head no. She gazes at him with such worry he finds he doesn’t want to talk about it anymore with her. This is embarrassing and still sends a stab of hurt to think of Jacob. 

“School was fine, and he ignored me.” He turns away to settle down on the couch, picking up the plastic container of orange chicken meant for him. Slowly, Aunt May sits down too, although she doesn’t start eating, only watches him, biting her lip. Peter sighs as he takes a bite. 

“Aunt May, I’m okay. Mr. Stark said he’ll pay for the defense group that’s also kind of a therapy thing. Also for a therapist, but I’m going to see the one at school, Patrick. I’ll get through it.” 

She nods, picking up her own food container but picks at it, still bothered. 

“Mr. Stark’s very generous to do that. I wish I could help you more than just buying take out.” She swallows hard, blinking against the tears that have started to well up. Peter’s eyes water in sympathy as she struggles to contain herself. 

“You do help, Aunt May. Believing me is the biggest part.” 

She sniffs hard, giving him a pained smile. They both settle into their dinner, turning the TV to a marathon of World’s Dumbest Criminals. It’s not the heart wrenching confidence Aunt May probably hoped for, but he’s had enough of those for a little bit. After a time when the mood between them has lightened, Peter feels comfortable enough asking, “Aunt May, is it okay if I spend the night next Friday with Steve and Bucky? Mr. Stark wanted to have a movie night, I think with everyone. I was gonna see if MJ and Ned wanted to come with.” 

She gives a surprised look, perhaps hesitant to let him go back over considering what spending the night last time had entailed. 

“Well, if it’s okay with Mr. Stark, then I don’t mind. I’ll send you with a card for him saying thank you for the defense course. I wish we could give him more,” she frets. Peter nods, smiling on the inside. There isn’t anything they could buy or give Mr. Stark that he couldn’t get himself. A heartfelt thank you was perfect. 

_Aunt May says I can spend the night. Would my friends Ned and MJ be able to come too?_ Peter texts Mr. Stark later in the evening. It’s asking more when Mr. Stark’s already being generous, however, Ned would be heartbroken if he didn’t at least ask. 

The rest of the week is tolerable knowing that on Friday after nine he’ll be hanging out with the Avengers and his two dear friends. 

\--- 

The first night of the defense course is nerve wracking. Peter isn't sure how to dress for this. Are they going to be starting off with physical defense right away? Or is tonight more just an orientation? Probably the latter. It'd be silly to expect people to be ready to fight on day one. He let Aunt May know that Mr. Stark was covering the cost of this class, seeing as they themselves don't have the monthly budget. It's not expensive by any means, actually quite doable, but the bump to their rent hasn't been pleasant to Aunt May's paychecks. 

Usually, Peter likes to sit in the middle of the classroom. He's not right upfront (so the teacher can't tell if he spaces out) but nor does he hide in the back. Tonight, though, he's in the back. His heart is pounding and a nervous sweat gathering under his arms. Once Mr. Stark had called Wade to get Peter into the survivor group and set up his payment information, Peter had received an email from Wade about where they'd be meeting the next day. Most of the time, they'll be meeting in the conference room of the local police station. When it's time to get started on physical defense (or if a certain activity calls for moving around) they'll shuffle into the wrestling room. Sounds cozy enough and he figures it'll be interesting to see what the police station looks like as a whole and not just the jail part. 

What Peter first notices when he walks in is that there are far more women here than men and that there's an air of the military. Well, Mr. Stark did warn him this was usually for veterans. It's in the posture of the men and women here that speaks of training. Also for the fact that the chattering he can overhear is people's experience in their different branches of service. 

"Hello, you must be Peter." A tall blond man with tattoos covering every inch of his arms and legs approaches Peter, with his arm outstretched. For a second, Peter's heart kicks painfully, adrenaline burning through him, before he realizes that no, just because this guy vaguely resembles Jacob doesn't mean it's him. Besides, Jacob doesn't know he, Peter, is attending an assault course. (Peter had taken him off all his social media and blocked him. Deleted and blocked his number, too, for good measure). 

"Yeah—I'm Peter!" He cringes at the too enthusiastic greeting. Okay, calm down, nerves, you're just saying hello, he mentally scolds himself. "It's my first time going to something like this. Are you also a veteran?" It feels like his mouth is running away without his permission, but the man doesn’t seem to mind, just smiles warmly. Where he’d been apprehensive before, his face flushed again in the same way with quiet a different feeling. What the hell? His emotions could not be flip flopping worse if they tried. 

"It's nice to meet you and yes, I'm a veteran. Special Forces, since everyone here is comparing." The guy chuckles. "I hope you enjoy the class, I look forward to getting to know you more." 

Another five minutes pass and Peter is approached by a handful of other people, the others seeming to warm up to him once Tattooed guy said his hello. Huh. Well, whatever, he feels better that he's not the odd one out anymore for not being a veteran. It's not until Tattooed guy goes up to the front of the wrestling room does Peter realize that that was the instructor talking to him! No wonder everyone else approached him afterwards. 

They all settle on the floor as Wade calls the class to order, asking everyone to please sit down. He introduces himself, his branch of service, and what he hopes to gives them in terms of tools for coping by the end of this year long class. After that, he turns the talking over to them, having everyone introduce themselves aloud, passing around name tags at the same time. And for the first time in a while, Peter is feeling fine. Still nervous, but pretty okay. He makes it through saying hello, his name, and that he's just a regular civilian and a student with no problems. Once they’ve all gone Wade starts going over what they'll be focusing on over the course of the year and then detailing what will be this month's focus topic. The first month will be looking at rape culture and the issues for survivors. It's here that Peter starts to feel a little detached, like his head is floating on a string from his neck. The feeling of not quite being present only intensifies as Wade keeps talking. 

Finally, Peter has to scoot to the edge of the room and leave. He can't breathe, like he _physically can't breathe and oh, Jesus Christ, is he going to choke on his own tongue? He can't seem to swallow any air_. He forces himself to pace around the few small hallways of the police station, focusing on breathing in and out in a steady manner. It's about ten minutes before he's calmed down enough to be able to breathe without consciously making sure he is. The downside is that his head is still on a string and it's like he's an inch outside of his skin. Just enough that he feels slightly off and unnerved by the sensation. 

Peter doesn't want to leave already. For the love of God, he's only been in class for fifteen minutes but a cold sweat comes over him when he thinks of going back into that classroom. The thought of hearing just how others were violated, why Jacob did what he did as a perpetrator. No. Tonight, he can't handle it. He's gonna head right to the Stark Tower and just try to calm down. He'll come back tomorrow and, come hell or high water, he will stay. Peter won't let Jacob's actions take this healing away from him. He is more than his sexual assault. There will be more to life than just this fright and the tears too close to the surface. With guilt heavy in his chest, Peter exits the police station, relief running through him as the spring night air blows over him. 

\-- 

Wade notices that Peter leaves into the half hour mark of orientation. He could see when he’d started to zone out after introductions were given. Maybe Stark is pushing the kid to go through this group? That gnaws at him the rest of the night. If Stark is forcing the kid to come well, fuck that shit, Wade is refunding that check in two seconds. No way he is gonna have anyone strong-armed into attending. On the other hand, it very likely might be a struggle just to come in. As it is, Wade doesn’t have many men signing up thanks to the idea that men can’t be raped, so how can there be male survivors? 

Still… he wants to be sure. So after orientation is finished, Wade calls up Stark who was considerate enough to give him a personal number and not one for the secretary. 

“What’s up, Wade? Did something happen?” Stark demands, not even bothering with a greeting. Rude much? But warranted concerning why they even know each other in the first place. 

“No, no nothing happened. I just called to make sure ask that you’re not forcing Peter to attend. I mean guilt tripping him by paying for this?” Wade asks as he smiles and waves goodbye to a few of the women who call out their farewells. 

“What! No! What kind of man do you take me for?” Stark snarls, offended at his good intentions being questioned. Wade’s met plenty of people who have thought that exact thing. There’s a reason a certain road is so well paved. He sandwiches his cell between his shoulder and the side of his face as he unlocks his bike. Once freed he gets on and pushes off steering one handed. 

“A rightfully concerned friend, but that doesn’t always mean well for the survivor. Anyways, thanks for your time, just wanted to check in. Night,” Wade chirps before he hangs up on Stark’s spluttering retort. Well, good that that’s sorted. Granted, it doesn’t make him happy to figure out the real reason Peter left class. 

Admittedly, relief washes over Wade to see Peter has shown up the next night. He makes a beeline for him. 

“Hey, Peter, it’s Wade, mind if I speak to you for a second?” he asks, waiting until Peter nods before steering him aside from the others in the conference room. Not that the others can’t hear, but they don’t need to blatantly eavesdrop either. 

“I wanted to let you know that I’m glad you came back. This isn’t easy. You’re very strong to face this trauma.” He’s not startled by the wetness that glazes Peter’s eyes at those words. This is tough trauma to deal with. Wade knows how much these sentiments mean to survivors struggling to come to terms with what’s happened to them, to know that they are believed and supported. Peter nods, his gaze dropping to the floor.

“Thanks. I… I don’t want to let this affect me forever. I’ve heard your class is really good,” Peter answers in a low tone. Wade’s heart twists. No matter how many times he’s heard similar feelings, survivors’ trauma never ceases to hurt him. 

“I try my best, but it’s a team effort. Everyone makes a difference.” 

\-- 

The Tower becomes a second home to Peter. He spends as much time there as he does at his actual home. Although he’s fairly sure neither Steve, Bucky, nor Mr. Stark have said anything to the Avengers, they seem to take more time out of their day to talk with him. 

Tony really likes the card from Aunt May and in return, sends a fruit arrangement to her. 

Of course, in all this, he’s not forgotten about Jacob. How could he? But there isn’t much to say about this point. Jacob ignores him, not even sparing him ice cold glances. It’s so stupid, but the complete lack of response has Peter wanting to provoke a reaction. Anything to prove that they had something between. That this sexual assault isn’t the sum total of their friendship. That Jacob wanted him for more than just a convenient body to fuck. 

“I don’t know why he acts like he doesn’t see me. Who would believe me if I told any other students? Some people would be more grossed out by the fact I’m bi than by what he did,” Peter says, sitting in the library with MJ. He’s supposed to be taking a bathroom break from shop class (Mr. Lazo is the uncaring teacher as long as you’re back before the bell rings for the end of class). He ran into MJ on her way to the library, so he’d joined her after his bathroom stop. 

MJ looks over at him from where she’s curled herself in one of the cozy chairs wearing an expression that says she’s got news. 

“That might have to do with the fact I dug around about him. Maybe told a couple of lies about who he assaulted to get others to talk,” Peter gapes at her, torn between anger at her digging and shock of what she’s clearly holding onto. 

“What’d you find?” he finally asks despite himself. Her lip curls in disgust. 

“That you’re not the first. Well, maybe the first guy because I didn’t hear anything from any dudes but there’s been five girls so far. One of them is from your survivor group. She told me she’s seen you there. I didn’t ask if any of them knew you, she told me.” 

His blood turns to ice, leaving him cold and shaky. _Five_. Five others Jacob’s fucked up. 

“No reports?” Peter asks softly. MJ looks away clenching her jaw, mouth pinched into a frown. 

“They all said there wasn’t enough evidence. No bruising, no semen. Nothing to prove it was anything but consensual beside their words that it wasn’t.” Peter can see how much this gnaws at her. How not being believed has silenced these other survivors, himself included, and let Jacob remain on the prowl. Free to hurt others in the same way. 

He holds out his hand which she grasps squeezing hard. For a minute they sit there simply holding on to each other. 

“I’m gonna make an advocacy club. Fuck this,” MJ announces a bite to her words. Now it’s Peter’s turn to squeeze her hand. 

“Count me and Ned in. Liz too.” 

\-- <

Peter doesn’t assume that group will be easy, but he admits he’s unprepared to hear the stories of other survivors. Today, they’re discussing rape culture, all settled in a large circle in the wrestling room of the police station. (Quickly everyone had voted they wanted to sit there instead of the conference room. Less formal to be on the floor with one another). 

“This idea that women want it even if they say no. Who are you to decide my sexual interest in you?” a blond girl his age snarls, eyes flinty, anger radiating from her. The others make sympathetic noises, nodding along. Olive, the one who had recognized him, is one of the most outspoken survivors. Peter is amazed by her ability to speak what seems to be so easily on the matter. 

Such a difference between her anger and biting words versus his own often emotional add ins. The assault is still too fresh to talk about without his emotions swelling. But here in this space, Peter doesn’t feel embarrassed. Jaime and Keith (seated on either side of him) had gently touched his shoulders when he first got choked up. He had appreciated the comfort. 

Wade nods unperturbed by the flip flopping of emotions between everyone. 

“Of course, that’s difficult to be told, explicit or not, that your voice doesn’t matter.” 

Keith speaks up at this. “That you asked for it. There’s no way you could say no.” Peter turns, proud eyes on him. It’s quite intimidating to speak in a roomful of women who have been hurt by and far by men. 

“That no one believes you,” Peter adds. Wade nods acknowledging his words. <

“And why is that? What purpose does not believing survivors serve?” he gently asks, wanting them to examine their own beliefs. Just because they’re survivors doesn’t mean they never held those ugly thoughts themselves, that some still do. When the world was thought of in terms of _that won’t happen to me_. 

Humiliation courses through Peter as he speaks up. His face warms as he speaks the blush no doubt obvious. “It’s easier not to believe someone you know would rape or hurt someone else like that, especially a friend or family. More comfortable to blame the victim.” The others nod and even Olive doesn’t add in her own opinion. But there is no harsh judgement here. They all know those thoughts. 

“Easier and unfair. We can do better by survivors knowing this working to dismantle why it is we want to be biased against them even as we’ve gone through similar situations.” 

After class, Peter tentatively waits to approach Wade who is engaged by Olive. Now that she isn’t angry, she’s sweet and excitable (even a worm will turn, Peter thinks to himself), gesturing wildly as she discusses further about today’s topic of rape culture. Wade sees him and holds up his index finger to gesture he’ll only be a minute more. Olive follows his gaze to Peter, who she smiles and says hello to before she tells Wade goodbye. 

Peter blinks in her wake which Wade sees and giggles at. The sound of his laughter brings a feeling of surprised tenderness to Peter’s chest. 

“Olive can get pretty excited about this stuff, and if you can catch her before or after class, I’m sure she’d love to chat. But anyways, what’s up? Care if we walk towards my bike?” Peter shakes his head and they head out of the room towards the front doors. Easy as that, all Wade’s attention is on him. Shyness rises in Peter’s chest. This observation has nothing to do with his skill as an instructor but Wade is knock-out gorgeous and not what Peter was expecting. So sue him that he gets a little cotton mouthed speaking to Wade. 

“You’re...great at this. After one class I already know I love this group,” Peter admits breathlessly, not wanting to chicken out on expressing his gratitude. He’s been turning this sentiment over since the first hour of class. 

Wade grins, immensely pleased. Peter’s more than a little starstruck at the full force of being beamed at. “Thank you, that means a lot. I want to do my best for all of you. And thank you, Peter, for speaking up during group. It’s not easy, but you’re doing a great job,” Wade returns with such earnestness that a blush crawls up Peter’s face. By now, they’ve reached the bike rack where indeed Wade has a bike locked up (silly now that he thinks about it, that he assumed Wade meant a motorcycle). Wade crouches down fiddling with the combination lock until it clicks and his bike is freed. 

“‘Course, no problem,” Peter mumbles, embarrassed to be praised. Before an awkward silence can settle, because, what else do they discuss? Wade opens his arms as if expectant of a hug. 

“Well, I’ll let you go. Want a hug or handshake or nothing? Always feels weird to me to offer one or the other but then it seems rude not to, after all that we learn about each other in group. I know some people are touchy but others don’t like it at all, so feel free to tell me no and I’m a weirdo,” Wade rambles, and now it’s Peter’s turn to giggle. Here’s a small glance at what Wade’s like outside of being the careful group instructor. 

“Yeah, a hug is fine.” Surprised but not displeased at the gesture, Peter hugs him, butterflies fluttering in his stomach when Wade bear hugs him before releasing him. 

“Have a good night, Peter! I’ll see you tomorrow evening,” Wade cheerily sends him off before he hops on his bike waving goodbye. The walk and subway ride home has Peter wrapped in a cloud of dizzy happiness. 

\-- 

Wade likes Peter. He’s a sweet kid who is trying his best to recover and heal from the trauma that’s been dealt to him. No more or less difficult than any survivor before him. And Wade takes pains not to favor one person in group over anyone else. So interacting with Peter outside of group isn’t something he plans for. Of course, if he’s completely truthful with himself, he definitely likes having the chance to do so, random as those meetings are. At first. 

Their texting starts off innocent enough, truly! It starts because Peter forgets his backpack in class on Sunday. No surprise, as today was the first day of physical defense. Easy to forget stuff at the first big change of class. Peter, the sweet kid, stayed behind to help him pack up Wade’s own strike shields he has for the class. In helping to get everything wrapped up, Peter leaves his backpack behind in the conference room and heads out, not even noticing the absence. Wade himself doesn’t realize the error until he’s double checking the conference room and wrestling room after everyone’s gone home. 

“Shit. Guess he’ll have to wait.” But that won’t work since tomorrow is Monday and he’ll need this for school. He texts Tony saying it’s Wade and that Peter forgot his backpack, but that he’ll have it waiting at his own apartment. Tony’s reply is near immediate which surprises Wade. He figured a man like Stark doesn’t have time for a lowly pleb like him. 

_Forwarded your message to Peter._

Right as he finishes reading that, his phone jingles at a text from an unrecognized number. 

_Hi Wade! It’s Peter from class, thank you for grabbing my backpack! I didn’t realize I forgot it until I was home. Can I grab it tomorrow morning? School starts at 9:10am would 8:30am be okay?_

The text is so long it shows up in three disordered pieces before Wade can figure out what he’s saying. He bikes home before he answers a half hour later. 

_Sure no problem! I’ll send you my address._

For good measure, he saves Peter’s number to his contacts. In case he should forget his backpack again. _Have a good night._ Wade sends on impulse, laughing when Peter responds with a grinning emoji and a sleeping one. The kid’s absolutely precious. 

The next morning, sure enough at 8:30am, a knock comes on his front door. A light sleeper Wade rolls out of bed, unbothered to throw on a shirt. He does at least throw on sleep pants. Guess he shouldn’t startle the kid too badly. Peter’s only gonna be here for a second and anyways what he, Wade, wears to class is revealing enough. 

Admittedly, it is pretty cute to watch Peter get all flustered, his eyes bouncing from Wade’s face to his thighs back up to his face. Impressive, really, for someone’s who has just been startled by all this skin.  <

"Hi...my backpack?” Peter squeaks out. Okay, Wade knows he’s having a little too much fun. The kid’s only here for his stuff, not a peep show. 

“Got it waiting on my couch, one sec,” Wade says before he leans over to the couch which is against the wall by his door and grabs the backpack from where it’s waiting. A grin comes over his face when he straightens back up, Peter’s eyes snap up from suspicious stomach level. For now, he’ll chock it up to Peter was checking out the tattooed bullet carrier around his right thigh. <

“Have a good day, Peter. And if anything should come up at school feel free to text, okay?” he gently offers. He doesn’t want Peter to think he sees him as only a survivor. But going to school with your assailant isn’t a cakewalk. Peter nods, waving goodbye before he shoulders on his backpack heading down the stairs. 

Wade closes his front door with a sigh. He may possibly be getting feelings—more than just as an instructor looking out for a participant—for this sweet kid. It wouldn’t be the first stupid thing he’s done. But he’s not going to let that affect this kid’s recovery. Anyways, he figures past this one time incident they won’t see each other much besides class where their friendship needs to stay. This is about cultivating coping skills and a support network. 

But it seems that everything in their lives collude to bring them together.<

\-- 

The cookout is Bucky's idea. It's not that he doesn't like the Avengers or that he wants to have a publicity circus happen. But… honestly? He's bored of seeing the same faces everyday. And before anyone accuses him, no, he regularly gets out. 

However, there's a difference between strolling around town and having actual friends come over to spend time. He brings up the idea to Steve and Sam (because Sam’s automatically invited to any possible get-togethers) who both really like the thought of having regular people over. Steve brings it up to the rest of the Avengers, who are happy enough with the suggestion. Despite the fact they may seem pretty insular here in Stark Tower (and really you could be), they do have civilian friends, just, y'know, not ones they get to see all that often. Tony even rents a park shelter after being persuaded that having a cookout on top of the Tower probably isn't a good idea. How is anyone going to be able to play Frisbee or soccer with the worry of going over the edge? 

It is here, at this open air park shelter, that Wade finds himself. He isn't quite sure how he gets invited to the cookout. Well, he knows perfectly how. It's because Sam suggested he come along. But he's unsure of what made Sam think of him, over anyone else who could go instead. Maybe because of the survivor group? 

Well, whatever it is, he's curious to hang out with these superheroes, see what they're like in their off time. He goes dressed in gym shorts and a worn comfortable band t-shirt. Probably the only person who will be dressed up is Tony Stark. He seems the type to wear fancy clothes no matter the occasion. Wade isn't one of those people, although he does make sure to shower the morning of the cookout, brush his teeth, and even floss (for once) with all his laundry freshly done last night. For reasons that don't have to do with meeting these very important people. 

Who he doesn't expect is to see at the cookout is Peter Parker. 

"Hey, Peter. How'd you get an invite? Did Cap see that cute face and invite you?" Wade teases as he comes over to Peter, fucking relieved that he's found someone familiar. Well, everyone is familiar here because their faces are constantly plastered across social media. But you get what he means. 

Peter grins, expression lighting up as he waves hello. It feels odd not to reach out to pull Peter into his side. Four weekends into working through the shit they do in group, you start to feel close to each other. However, Captain America has no issue with touching, because he's drifted over to say hello too, reaching out an affectionate hand to gently squeeze the back of Peter's neck. If Wade was one to blush, he would have at this point because, wow, that's totally a possessive move right there. Who knew that Cap was so protective of Peter? And damn those teeth really are pearly white. That’s not due to any touch up. In fact, he's drop dead gorgeous, no photoshop needed at all. 

“Wow, you’re insanely hot. No lie, your Tinder _and_ Grindr have to be bursting with messages” Wade blurts out, his filter out the window when he’s not leading the survivor group. Captain America blinks caught off guard (clearly Sam failed to mention that he runs off at the mouth) while Peter is valiantly fighting, and losing, his battle to not smile. The captain looks to Peter for help and he explains they’re both phone apps people use for dating but by and large for sex. 

Once explained, he chuckles at Wade’s random outburst. “Well, Cap would get a lotta love I’m sure, but I’m happy with Bucky,” he answers, and, holy shit, this is quite juicy gossip being confirmed. “Call me Steve, by the way, I hear Cap enough,” Steve says, offering his hand which Wade shakes. 

“If you’ll excuse me, I see Sam has shown up. See you later, Wade, Peter.” Wade gets a polite smile while Peter is hugged before Steve strolls off, calling out for Sam. Wade turns incredulous eyes on Peter who giggles at the expression. 

“I’m an intern for Mr. Stark,” he says by way of explanation and that does clear up how he got invited to this, too. Although he’s sure that Steve Rogers has a very large soft spot for Peter, too. 

“Really? What does Stark have you doing? Besides hanging out with the Avengers everyday?” Wade asks, happy to be led towards the heavily laden food tables. If there’s one thing that Stark can do right, it’s lay a table. They grab plates (actual plates, not paper and wow if that doesn’t say something) and begin to try out everything on offer. 

“I work in the lab a lot. Mr. Stark believes in creativity in your work, so I’m trying to synthesize a fancy version of spider silk. So far, I’ve got one that can hold my weight. Mr. Stark says if it can hold his suits’ weight then he’ll try it, so I’ve been working on how much stress it can go under right now before it breaks.” 

Wow, this was totally not what he was expecting. Wade figured Peter did secretarial work or maybe helped in some capacity with the Avengers. 

“You’re super fucking smart” is what comes out of his mouth instead. Peter ducks his head making a dismissive lip trill as they sit down at a table with a girl Peter’s age who is engrossed in conversation with Thor. “No, I wasn’t saying that to be condescending. That’s super cool shit right there! Getting to work in Tony Stark’s labs doing what you want? Free reign over a billionaire's personal play area? That’s amazing. What else do you get up to? Do you ever take his suits on a joy ride?” Wade loves that Peter’s grinning. Good to see the kid so carefree. After all the tears and anguish he sees in their survivor group, this is a much happier side to Peter. <

“Mr. Stark likes me, but not that much!” Peter exclaims, startling when Stark himself claps a hand on his shoulder asking, 

“Why don’t I like you that much?” Looking expectantly for an explanation over Peter’s shoulder, probably having heard his name said. Which, while not uncommon, isn’t likely to come from Peter. Whatever else Wade may think of Tony Stark, he’s pretty assured recently turned eighteen year olds or guys aren’t his thing. (Wade can’t say the same thing for himself). 

“Asking the kid if you let him take a ride in your Iron Man suits. Peter told me he’s working on some cool web silk right now. Sounds like you give him the run of the place, I was just wondering if he took full advantage.” 

Stark eyes him up, no doubt trying to interpret this breezy attitude with the man he was no doubt told about. It happens a lot, but that’s okay. Wade’s good at switching among the roles the various parts of his life ask of him. 

“You’re the instructor for the group who also manages the shops under the name… Sexpool, right? Owned by Weasel?” Stark asks, a hand still resting on Peter’s shoulder. Oh my, it does appear the Avengers are _very_ protective of their sweet, little intern. Not that that bothers Wade in the least. From what he knows, Peter’s disclosed his sexual assault to Stark and very likely Steve, since it was through him that Sam was tapped for a survivor group. Thanks to Sam, he put Stark in touch with Wade himself. 

And if Stark thinks he’s going to embarrass Wade by bringing up his full time job, he’s got another thing coming. 

“Yep! I oversee the three different shops of Sexpool. We’re planning to expand to New Jersey next year. I was planning to wait until group wrapped up, but Peter,” Wade looks to him who seems curious and not the least discomforted by the topic, “if you’re interested, I work in the Queens shop on Monday through Wednesday.” 

Peter nods. “Thanks, I will have to come see you sometime.” Meanwhile, Stark looks quite taken aback and a little annoyed his ploy didn’t work. Too bad Peter isn’t the sexless little boy Stark seems to think of him as. Before they can spat further, Stark’s girlfriend Pepper has swept over to introduce herself. She could probably see this stupid pissing contest from a distance. 

The rest of the outing goes by without incident. Throughout the afternoon, various Avengers and their friends stop to say hello and chatter to Peter (who gets lots of hugs), including Wade too. After they let their lunch and desserts digest, they join in the soccer game. A surprise that has Wade laughing is how down and dirty the team plays. It’s knockdown aggressive and he shows quickly that he’s not afraid to join that. Afterwards, he has a collection of new bruises. 

Next on the list of activities is volleyball and thank God he’s fit otherwise Wade wouldn’t be able to keep up. As it is, he has to tap out an hour and a half later. Peter isn’t finished, so Wade grazes on the leftovers and hydrates, grabbing a water bottle for when Peter gets done. 

Half hour later, Peter joins him, happily accepting the water. They eat and chat with Wanda as they wind down. By the time either one even gives a thought of heading home, it’s nine at night. Even the superheroes are tired out. Of course, that doesn’t stop Natasha from teasing Peter to scale the playground with her. It’s that very night Wade playfully nicknames Peter “Spidey” and in his head dubs Natasha “Mama Spider,” which he won’t tell her. For now. At the right opportunity, he’ll reveal it for the best amount of impact and reaction. 

By eleven pm, Peter is dozing with his head resting on his hands at the table. Wade had gotten wrapped up in a conversation with Thor and only realizes that it’s probably close to bedtime for Peter when he sinks down to resting on his outstretched arm. 

“I can walk you home if you need, Peter.” 

“Sure! That’d be nice.”

With that, they call out their goodbyes, Peter giving hugs before they finally make their way out of the park. 

The walk home is peaceful. They retell today’s events with silly smiles on their faces, content. By the time Wade and Peter reach Peter’s apartment an air of easy familiarity has settled between them. 

“It’s been great hanging out with you, Peter. I didn’t know you had such a strong kick, I think my shin is gonna be bruised for a week,” Wade can’t resist teasing. It’s been so good to see and be a part of Peter’s happiness and fun today. Wade hates to end their time together. More and more his rule on favoritism seems to be slipping when it concerns Peter. A giggle escapes him as he flaps his hand. 

“If Steve didn’t steal the ball right then, I wouldn’t have kicked you!” Wade rests his bike against the concrete stairs leading to the apartment, grinning. 

“Steve’s the real bastard in all of this is what I’m hearing.”

They subside into soft smiles before Wade holds open his arms for a hug that Peter happily steps into. Maybe he should feel more hesitant and awkward to offer affection to this kid, but it’s comfortable to reach out for him already. Yes, that’s certainly helped by the position of emotional disclosure he is privy to, however, it’s not just that. Spending the day with Peter outside of group has shown him that they click as friends too. So maybe that is why they hold onto each other a little longer than acquaintances normally do. 

Peter fits right into his arms, the side of his face resting against Wade’s shoulder. 

“I hope I’m not awkwardly hugging you for too long,” Wade murmurs, his tone quiet because, truth be told, holding Peter like this feels comfortable. His fears of somehow intimidating Peter into this are allayed when Peter shakes his head no, shifting against him. A shock of pleasure tingles low in his stomach at the firm press of Peter’s body. 

“I feel safe.” God, those words cut him to the bone. Wade rubs Peter’s back biting hard at his lip. Fuck. Now is really not the time to develop romantic feelings. He pulls back only enough so that Peter is looking up at him, now concerned he’s said something wrong. The words get caught in his throat because holy shit this is the movie moment where they would kiss. 

The same thought seems to occur to Peter as well, for his eyes drop to Wade’s lips before he’s looking up at Wade through his lashes. Instead of leaning in, he brushes his hand through Peter’s hair and gently disengages from the hug. A flash of something passes over Peter’s face before he’s smiling, shy, and wishes him goodnight. 

“Sweet dreams, Spidey. See you later.” 

Wade waits until Peter’s gone inside before he hops on his bike and heads home. They are both burying themselves in a hole and, frankly, it’s becoming more and more inviting the deeper they go. They are blurring the boundaries of instructor and student. Wade isn’t here to find a boyfriend and Peter’s here to recover from the scum who called himself such. 

How badly Wade wants to protect him and more than that make Peter happy. 

But as much as Wade loves to be morally gray, he does have his limits too. The poor kid doesn’t know what he’s getting into, wanting to date him, and it’s clear that’s where all this flirting is leading to. He’s in for a rude shock that silly Wade from class has regular bouts of depression and that he has constant flashes of anger that are overreactions to the situation at hand. It’s frustrating, to say the least, to feel at times his emotions have more control than he does. 

The official term for what he has is dysthymia. It’s not the typical symptoms of depression, but when has anything ever been normal about him? He can make it out of bed, hold down a job, all the things that make him a productive citizen. 

During the day, he works at Weasel’s various sex shops when he _could_ work from home. But he hates how quiet his apartment is, how much that silence allows for his own critical thoughts to ring loud in his head. An issue that the critical voice gnaws at like a bone is his issue of overeating. Food is a comfort which pushes him to workout like a maniac to keep off the calories. Honestly, he can’t go a day without going to the gym or exercising in his apartment, otherwise he’ll spend all day plucking at his body and patting his stomach for what he’s surely storing as fat during the times he doesn’t work off the excess food. 

Wade sighs loudly to himself as he pedals harder. Fuck. Despite knowing he doesn’t bring much to the table as a partner, there’s no lying to himself. He wants this possibility of a relationship just as badly. 

\-- 

Since the lunch out with the Avengers and Wade on Monday (Aunt May had generously called him out of school for this event), Peter’s been floating on cloud nine. He feels so giddy at the thought of his instructor and seeing him again outside of group. Because he wouldn’t have out and out invited Peter to where he works on certain days unless it was for a reason, right? A reason like Wade wanted to see him too. 

Ned picks up on his jubilant mood fast when they meet at their halfway point on their walk to school. 

“Did you get another ten buckets of Legos from Mr. Stark?” Ned jokes as they fall in line together. His tone says he really hopes it is. Peter feels only slightly bad to disappoint him. 

“Not Legos this time, Ned. I was thinking today we’d go on an adventure?” he suggests, pleased to see his friend’s eyes light upon hearing that.  <

“Yeah, of course! Hey, I was gonna ask, regardless of adventure or not, would I be able to spend the night? We haven’t hung out since you started going to group.” Ned must read guilt in his expression because he’s quick to correct himself. “No-not that I’m bothered! That group is good for you; it really seems to help. I just miss hanging out with you. You’re always so busy these days,” Ned mumbles, abashed. Peter comes to a full stop, Ned doing the same, unsure, and Peter hugs him tight. 

“I’d love you to sleep over! I’ll text Aunt May and ask, but you know she’ll say yes,” Peter replies, sorry to realize he’s been neglecting his friend time. 

Now, with their after school plan set, the clock can’t click any slower if it tried. By the time they get out, Peter is hurrying Ned along. 

“Peter, what are we rushing for?” Ned laughs as they jog along. <

“I just want to get there!” Peter says, holding Ned’s hand to make sure he keeps up. Finally they arrive at Sexpool. The shop’s two front windows are covered with various wall hangings notably all with feminist slogans and motifs. 

“Sex… pool? Are we at a sex shop?” Ned inquires, surprised that this is the big adventure Peter is so eager for. Peter nods unembarrassed. 

“My friend works here.” Ablush rushes over him to call Wade that. “He said to come visit him.” 

What neither one of them is expecting when they walk in is the sight of Wade in a schoolgirl skirt (only reaching the top of his thighs), a lacy red bralette paired with black and red stilettos. Peter is completely bowled over at the same time he finds it hilariously sexy. Well, he did want to come see Wade during his regular hours rather than an instructor. He glances to Ned to find him slack jawed in awe. 

Who wouldn’t be at this gorgeous man decked out in all things feminine that screams sexuality? Every single one of Wade’s tattoos are on display, and this entice outfit emphasizes his muscular stature. 

Wade, for his part, when he turns around to greet them, doesn’t flinch or appear bothered in the least. Rather he’s delighted as he strides over to them hips swaying. Peter is completely entranced, eyes wide trying to take the whole ensemble in. 

“Spidey and Spidey’s friend! Welcome to Sexpool, where we can find your favorite kink! Or mainstream vanilla porn and sex toys. We also now sell these very cute bralettes too. Very comfortable and cute,” Wade chirps, the perfect sales pusher. 

“Hey there! You look amazing, is that your normal uniform?” Wow, Peter’s flirting and actually kinda smooth. That is very new and thrilling. 

Wade’s eyes sparkle. “It certainly will be from now on.” 

Now that he’s within arm’s reach, Peter’s quick glance down reveals that the tattoos pour down Wade’s chest encircling his nipples. 

“So, looking for anything in particular?” Wade asks, eyebrows raised a smirk curling his lips. Both of them shake their heads, too overwhelmed to even think about a product. Wade grins, crooking a finger for them to follow after him. “Well, looks like I’ll have to take you on a tour of the store. Let me know when you see something you like.” He winks as he turns away. 

Peter follows after, entranced, totally not letting his eyes fall down to Wade’s ass. Not at all. He’s just admiring the tattoos on the back of his thighs. 

By the end of the tour, Peter has let himself be nudged into buying ruby red lipstick, black mascara, and a bottle of soft pink glittery nail polish. Ned, for his part, can’t because he spent his allowance earlier in the week. Wade himself is wearing the pale pink glitter polish. 

“You get a ten percent discount, this being your first time,” Wade purrs. “And I’ll include my employee discount. Weasel won’t mind seeing as I’m his best salesgirl,” he jokes as he bags up the purchases while Peter swipes his card. The great upside is that Mr. Stark pays his interns. 

“Thank you! I’ll see you on Friday!” Peter happily says, taking his bag (belatedly realizing he’ll need to hide it from Aunt May). Wade flutters his fingers goodbye leaning on the counter as they head out of the store. It’s not until they’re outside does he look over to see Ned giving him quite the side eye. 

“W-what? Why’re you giving me that look?” he asks, heat washing over him. Ned rolls his eyes. 

“ _Oh my God, Peter_. Literally, you couldn’t be anymore obvious about how much you’re crushing on him. Not that I blame you,” Ned concedes. “But, wow, everyone in group must be half in love with him.” He muses. Peter shrugs, never having thought of whether the other women and two guys in the group like Wade in this way. It’s an uncomfortable, jealous thought that they might. 

“How is group going? You know, with getting over _him_?” Ned asks, trying to be delicate about the matter. Peter appreciates the sentiment, but he doesn’t need it. 

“Group is great. I really love going, and not just because of Wade!” he adds quickly. “He’s good at what he does and talking with other survivors makes this easier. I don’t feel so alone with the guilt and betrayal at what he did. But let’s talk about what we’re doing tonight! Since I’ve neglected you for so long.” Peter smiles, wanting to lightening the mood. Tonight he wants it to be about them and having a good time. 

With that they turn the conversation to what they’ll eat and what video games they want to play. It’s great and what Peter has been missing this past while. A return to what is normal. 

Later that night, into the very early morning, after they’ve both admitted defeat in the face of exhaustion, Peter decides to be risky, encouraged by their time at Sexpool, he texts Wade. 

_If I asked nicely would you dress me up like you were today? The lacy bralette looked perfect on you._

His heart is beating so fast that his hands are trembling a little. Peter puts his phone beside him, rolling onto his side to stare at it. He’s nestled into his sheets on the top bunk and Ned is sleeping below in the bottom bunk. Thankfully, Wade doesn’t keep him in suspense for more then ten minutes. Surprising at two am. 

_I’d love to. No shy coquette for you. I’m thinking brazen, bold, and in leather._

\-- 

It’s unsurprising that after hanging out with Wade so often in these past weeks there’s a new familiarity between them. 

Despite the fact they’re perhaps closer than they both intended, Peter doesn’t expect to find himself later on in Wade’s apartment. Today had been a fun if not a little embarrassing session in group. This was the start of their month long unit in group on intimacy and setting boundaries for themselves. Unlike other instructors, Wade jumps into the activities while still monitoring everyone, of course. 

So maybe he’s still a little flustered from telling Keith who was his partner during this activity that he liked stubble burn and his nipples played with. It doesn’t help that as Wade strolled around the room he passed by them at that moment. A hot blush comes over him to remember that. Easily he could have gone with something safe such as he liked to be cuddled and he liked holding hands. But Peter’s not here to half ass his healing and recovery. Anyways it’s not like he _minded_ telling Keith. 

Hard not to when the guy’s six two, toned, and has tattoos crawling all over him. His arms are covered from shoulder to wrists. Wade’s legs from ankle to thigh are the same seeing as Wade’s a few times worn some pretty short shorts (somehow managed to never flash his junk which is a feat). 

The reason Peter ends up at Wade’s apartment at all is because of the almost hurricane like weather they’re experiencing. The rain had started just as group was beginning. Usually it would have been no big deal; it would blow over by the time they were done. Unfortunately, today that wasn’t the case. Two hours into group everyone’s cell phones started vibrating and ringing the recognizable warning signal. Flash floods with strong winds, the warning read. Get inside and stay there away from windows. 

“Alright, everyone, listen up! I’ll end class early today. Does everyone have a ride home? If not, start calling, and I’ll wait with you until someone comes to get you. I’d offer, but I’ve only got a bicycle,” Wade announces. A groan goes through the class because it sucks cutting short something they all have grown to love so much. Half an hour later, everyone’s been escorted out, except Peter, since he can weather this out in a McDonald’s close by. 

“You don’t have a ride, Spidey? No Stark to the rescue? Although I wouldn’t want to be carried in this weather when he’s full on Iron Man,” Wade rambles. The change from his instructor persona to this loose rambling guy is so fascinating to see. 

“Nah, figured I could sprint for cover for a bit.” 

Wade bites at his lip for a moment seeming to weigh something in his mind. 

“Well, you can sprint to my place with me? I only live two blocks away, and it’s a bit more comfortable then just sitting in a restaurant or random shop,” Wade offers. Heat crawls over him but Peter nods, curious to see what Wade’s place looks like. This is definitely a step further to them being more familiar with each other. So that’s how they end up running (Wade leaves his bike behind for the day) in the midst of the storm, laughing and whooping as the rain lashes them, the wind pushing them hard from behind. By the time they get into Wade’s apartment unit, they’re soaked to the skin, clothes sticking to them uncomfortably. 

They take the elevator up, wringing the water out of their shirts before Wade’s leading him to his apartment, ushering him inside. 

“If you want to call your aunt, I’ll try to find some clothes for us. Well, you. Maybe I have some old sweatpants because my jeans will slide off of those tiny hips.” Peter nods, a blush warming the back of his neck as he busies himself checking over his phone. He’s relieved to see that although his phone is wet, it doesn’t seem damaged. Wade moves off to his bedroom. 

Thank God Aunt May picks up after the second ring. 

“Peter, are you okay? I’ve been watching the news and the storm. Is your instructor still having class?” She asks not even bothering with hellos. Not surprising with the warnings. 

“Hey Aunt May I’m okay! Me and Wade ran to his place two blocks away. I was figuring I’d wait it out here until the storm passes.” He replies nervousness having him walk around in circles. Aunt May doesn’t know Wade and he knows this doesn’t sound like the brightest idea to just hang out at your instructor’s home. Aunt May’s silence for the next few seconds is telling that she’s got similar thoughts. 

“Well...I suppose if he’s okay with that. If the storm doesn’t let up will he let you stay the night? The weather channel says this isn’t going to blow over until the early morning hours and I don’t want you trying to get a cab home when it’s like this. If it is an issue you call Mr. Stark and _politely_ ask if someone can come get you so you can stay there or come home.” Aunt May gently threatens. She won’t tolerate rudeness when asking for favors of others. 

“Yeah one second lemme ask,” Peter says lowering his phone. “Hey Wade!” 

“Yes?” Wade hollers back from his room poking his head out. 

“Aunt May wants to know if it’s okay if I spend the night. The weather says this storm’s gonna last awhile.” His stomach is squirming with nerves. 

Wade flaps a hand in his direction. “You’re cool Spidey. You can spend the night.” Peter gives him a thumbs up in return. 

“Yep Wade says it’s okay!” 

They talk for a minute before hanging up Aunt May wanting a call in the morning and another one when Peter starts heading for home tomorrow. He doesn’t blame her worry. There’s definitely plenty of reason for unease what with all the awful stories on the news. Maybe naive after what happened with the last guy he trusted but Wade would never hurt him. Peter looks over to see Wade walking out of his room. He’s changed into black sweatpants, red hoodie and is holding a pair of blue sweatpants, a white tank top and a second red hoodie. Suspiciously Captain America colors. 

“How many do you have of those?” Peter can’t resist asking with a smile as he catches the clothes thrown over to him. 

“Like five more. Red’s my color, gotta flaunt it. Now go get changed I’m making Mexican food for dinner I’m starving.” 

Once he’s changed out of his soaked clothes (hesitating a moment before stripping out of his wet underwear too) and into Wade’s borrowed ones he goes to the kitchen to help out. No surprise Peter drowns in this outfit but it’s a decidedly enjoyable experience to be wearing things that belong to Wade. 

“How can I help?” Peter asks standing beside Wade. He looks over about to answer but the sight of him must take Wade aback because for a moment he doesn’t speak just gapes. Finally when the silence is stretching into uncomfortable Peter fidgets a bit smiling at him expectantly. 

“Sorry - sorry just wow unexpectedly discovered the perfect Look for you. Drowning in other guys’ clothes. I wasn’t ready for that epiphany. And yes you can help by chopping the onions, peppers, tomatoes and slice the jalapenos real thin. I’ve got the hamburger. Rest of the condiments are in the fridge.” 

Peter nods, rolling up the overlong sleeves of the hoodie, before he washes his hands and gets started on his chopping duty. They work together quietly the ground hamburger soon sizzling in the pan and the knife thudding on the cutting board as Peter carefully works. Once everything’s cooked and ready they happily plate their food going to the livingroom to settle down on the couch. Trying to be casual Peter sits down right next to Wade their thighs not quite touching but he can still feel the heat from his body. How badly he wants to sit in that lap.

They decide on Futurama seeing as there’s a marathon going on for it. They eat giggling at all the right parts. It’s the episode where the crew ends up on Planet Amazonia. Once Peter finishes he sets his plate on the table curling up with his knees tucked into his chest. He had glanced around for a blanket but there weren’t any out here. Weirdo Wade not having any blankets to burrow under. Soon Wade set his place aside too. 

“Care if I put my arm around you?” Wade asks to which Peter shakes his head happily nestling into Wade’s side relaxing under the weight of his arm. God the warmth of him is so perfect. What he doesn’t expect is the stab of heartache that hits him. 

“This is random but...” Peter swallows down the ache in his throat. “How do you regain trust after being assaulted or raped? I’m scared to be intimate again. To trust again. I don’t want to feel that forever.” He whispers hoarse blinking hard frustrated at the tears that rise to the surface so easily. Wade’s arm tightens around him. 

“No magic way Spidey. Therapy and taking that leap of faith with someone you feel safe with is all that I can say. I mean I can offer the last since I’m already the first. If you’d be interested in that but I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.” Wade murmurs. It takes Peter a minute to wrap his head around what Wade just said. What he is willing to help him with. 

“So like a low level sex therapist?” He teases swiping at his teary eyes glancing at Wade who snorts wearing a fond smile. 

“Yeah a low level sex therapist. My new title. Sex shop worker, defense instructor, and cheap sex therapist. Cheapest on the block. A steal only for my favorite Spidey.” Wade jokes back. They both know this has overstepped the definite boundary of professionalism. Let alone the appropriateness of the issues Peter himself is dealing with. It’s a very stupid idea to trust him but Peter’s feeling reckless. He wants this. Whatever this is. 

\-- 

When Wade wakes up in the morning he hops in the shower before he checks on Peter. He’s sprawled on the hideaway bed still out like a light. How precious Peter looks with his hair wild his face smooth in sleep. Quietly Wade heads into the kitchen where his washer and dryer are pushed into the closet. He pulls out his laundry from the dryer rifling through them to find Peter’s clothes amongst his own. Suddenly Peter’s phone starts ringing some snippet of a song as the ringtone. It startles Peter awake who flails blindly around for his cell. 

“Hello?” He croaks even as his eyes start to droop shut again. There’s a few moments whoever is speaking (likely his aunt) while Peter nods along. “Yeah things are good. I’ll be home in a little bit. Alright. Love you too Aunt May.” He soothes. Wade moves towards the couch resting against the arm of it Peter looking up at him sleepily. 

“Want to get breakfast before you head out? It’s on me. And I’ve gotta get groceries so there’s no food left here to eat.” Wade offers to which Peter nods vigorously taking his clothes from Wade. 

He knows he’s truly fucked when he takes Peter out for pancakes. Truth be told he’s thought that the kid is cute from day one but a survivor’s group is the last place to pick up cute guys. He’s pretty much in a therapist position with the amount of disclosure he’s privy to and like a therapist you don’t fuck your clients. 

For one because of sexual harassment laws and second Wade is an emotional support at this point an objective third party versus being a very emotionally involved boyfriend. 

“Thank you for this. You didn’t have to.” Peter says with a smile glancing up at him and god Wade’s heart is gone. He’s too precious. 

“Of course. The only way I can thank you for always being so helpful. You seem like you’re doing better.” Probably best not to mention he really wants to take Peter on an actual date. Or that he’s been imagining kissing those pretty little lips, showing him how a healthy, consensual sexual encounter can go and that a _respectful human being_ cherishes someone as sweet and good as Peter. 

Breakfast is a quiet affair between them. They settle next to each other in the booth Wade enjoying any reason to be close to Peter. Both of them play on their phones Peter showing Wade different memes involving the Avengers and random candid pictures of them. It’s such an intimate look into their normal lives when they’re not out saving the world. In return Wade regales Peter with stories of Domino and Nathan his fellow coworkers. 

“Do they wear similar sexy uniforms like you?” Peter asks a blush lighting up his face trying to be smooth with his flirting. Wade wants to desperately kiss him. 

“They wish. I always make sure to be the sexiest one at work. Nathan’s got a gruff daddy vibe and you’d not _believe_ how many people that pulls in. Domino is sassy and she’s the always the luckiest when it comes to tips, both kind if she’s feeling like it, with customers.” 

Peter giggles clearly torn between believing him and trying to figure out where the joke is in all that. 

Wade grins. “Don’t believe me? Come in next Thursday I’ll make sure they’re both scheduled to work. It’s gonna be hellish because we all antagonize each other. Well okay maybe me to them but Nathan is super easy to rile up.” 

Once their orders are dished up they shut up and dig in. It’s not until after they’ve stuffed themselves silly do they actually speak again. 

“Alright now that I’ve fed you time to skedaddle. A hug to remember you by?” Wade asks hoping he’s coming across as cute rather than creepy. Peter’s smile and the bundle of cutie in his arms says he’s doing good at being cute. 

\-- 

The next time they partner up in group feels decidedly more intimate than anything before. Maybe to do with the fact they’ve grown closer over these past few months. More then what they both originally intended. The fact they’re practicing physical defense now doesn’t help the feeling either. 

“Is it alright if I sit on you?” Peter asks face glowing pink. A flare of warmth low in Wade’s stomach at the totally not inappropriate request. Literally the first thing he tells the class is no touching without asking first and second thing that they have to be ready to accept rejection. Now is _not_ the time to get turned on, not in front of the entire class. Not that his body is gonna listen to him. 

Wade nods professional on the outside. This is a demonstration not the bedroom. Much as he wishes it was the latter and Peter was still wanting to sit on him. 

“Go ahead I’m okay with that.” Peter does so and jesus fucking christ Wade’s mouth goes dry as his tingles shiver down his spine. He’s a warm weight on top of his stomach, legs tucked against Wade’s hips. Peter’s not delicate but he’s got a smaller frame and their size difference is emphasized by this position with Wade laying on the floor. Peter must feel the same way for he becomes very still. 

“Alright so I’ve got Peter sitting on me, what am I gonna do? Even if he grabs my hands or wrists - go ahead you can,” Wade breaks off to give his cue. Peter stretches out over the length of his body needing to scoot up in order to reach his wrists. Braced as Peter is over him there’s no choice but look each other directly in the face. Peter wears an embarrassed smile but doesn’t seem uncomfortable. 

Wade returns the smile before he turns his head towards the class to continue addressing them. Also to try and distract himself from the cutie sitting on him. 

\-- 

Once again Peter’s spending the night at the Avengers tower. What a hell of a time four months down the road make. Jacob still doesn’t talk to him or even interact with their friend group. Truth be told Peter’s no longer grieving about that. 

This time Mr. Stark had guaranteed his schedule was free. They’ve planned an evening of video games to unwind with. Perhaps it’s weird for them to hang out so casually and indeed Peter’s a little nervous about how Mr. Stark is feeling. They haven’t really spoken since Peter revealed his sexual assault. He thinks Steve has a hand in making sure Mr. Stark in keeping him away. 

“So Peter how have things been?” Tony asks flopping down on the couch beside Peter, Bucky sprawled out on his left side. 

“Better, Mr. Stark. Thank you for paying for the defense class.” Mr. Sark waves a hand motioning he doesn’t need the praise. “Wade’s been an amazing instructor and I’m doing better now.” Peter says his legs crossed cozy under a blanket. Mr. Stark raises his eyebrows clearly expecting more. 

“And has the guy who did this been bothering you? We can get a restraining order in two days max. A day if we push more money in their faces.” 

Peter shakes his head. “Nah it’s okay. He doesn’t talk to me anymore.” A twinge in his chest before Mr. Stark’s scooting over to throw an arm around his shoulders. Peter blinks at him surprised at the physical touch. He’s not usually touchy-feely. 

“Listen, you know we’re all here for you, right? Let me be blunt and say screw that kid. We’ll be your friends. We’re much cooler and now I’m gonna take my arm back before this gets too awkward.” 

Peter smiles. “Thanks Mr. Stark and you too Bucky. I appreciate your guys’ support. It means everything to me. Now how about some Mario Kart? Bucky is a master, it’ll be tough to beat him.” He says leaning over to grab the Wii remotes from the coffee table in front of them. 

\-- 

It’s a month and a half later that Peter decides to take the plunge and hit Wade up on his offer of being a low level sex therapist. The need for comfort of being held overwhelms him so who does he turn to but Wade? In this case no sex is happening they’re just cuddling but now that he’s here a clammy sweat is creeping over him. They are in Wade’s bed (Aunt May wouldn’t be okay with this) Peter being the little spoon. For the past five months he’s been attending the survivor group and he can say he’s comfortable enough with Wade to be physical like this. He wants to date him truth be told but even he knows asking that question needs to wait until group is finished. 

“You feeling okay? You tensed up all the sudden.” Wade asks concerned moving his arm from around Peter’s waist. Peter wriggles onto his other side to face him before pulling Wade’s arm back around himself. This position is more intimate pressed as they are from chest to hips to their knees. It makes him feel better to see Wade’s face too. 

Peter looks up at Wade and how desperately he wants to kiss him. They gaze at each other warm breaths shared in the tiny space between them. But he doesn’t kiss Wade. Instead Peter reaches up stroking the side of his face from forehead down to his chin. The furrow between Wade’s eyebrows lessen as Peter scratches Wade’s scalp down to the nape of his neck. 

Truth be told it’s unnerving to be this close. He’s scared to trust even though Wade has given him nothing but kindness and yes even affection. An unhappy prospect he is too scared to trust again and unsure how to open his heart back up. 

“Yeah I’m okay. Nervous.” He answers after long minutes. Wade reaches out caressing Peter’s face in return his large hand easily spanning from his forehead to his jaw. 

“Your recovery isn’t a race Peter. This isn’t about making me happy. I want you to feel comfortable with me and if you’re not we don’t have to do this.” Peter isn’t ashamed to say he clings closer pressing Wade’s hand against his face. 

“I do want this, I want you.” Wade smiles softly as his thumb strokes Peter’s cheek light and ticklish. 

“You’ve got me already.” 

**Author's Note:**

> So the summary is the prompt on offer for the Spideypool challenge this was for. 
> 
> For me it was a very personal thing to write having been sexually assaulted by a guy I was crushing on and then recovering from the violated trust and intimacy. What I found the most healing was in attending a defense course through my university called Flip the Script that also looked at the social and cultural proponents of assault/rape and how it affects survivors.  
> My assault wasn't one of violence and for me that was difficult to come to terms with because of course if someone's going to hurt you sexually aren't they going to use force?  
> I wanted to show in this fic the difficulty of wantedness vs consent. I (and Peter) wanted my assailant sexually, wanted a romantic relationship, however I didn't consent to what he took from me. What he took when he thought I was asleep. 
> 
> If anyone comes to you saying they've been assaulted or raped believe them. Believe them down to your very goddamn bones because I can promise they're not lying. Reporting to the police or opening up to friends and family about what happened is difficult. You're fighting against the understanding that people may not believe you, likely won't believe you if the perpetrator is someone they know personally. And y'know that's fucking crushing to realize your own parents don't believe your words. They want comfort of mind over dealing with the difficult and galling fact this has happened to you. 
> 
> Be there for the survivor. Tell them "I believe you. I love you just the same." before you say anything else to them. It means the fucking world to the survivor to hear that. Let them know they can talk as much or as little as they want. Ask if they want to report but don't push that. Suggest therapy one on one or group therapy. Ask if they'd eventually be interested in a defense course. Show your steadfast support and don't judge them. You always think it'll never happen to you until it does. All the sudden those arguments of clothes and drinking disappear pretty damn fast.
> 
> Believe the survivor and love them no differently than before.


End file.
